30 Days of Dominance Question 1: Does your Dominance have a label?
Day 1 – Does your Dominance – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your preferred Dominant style as Taken in Hand, Domestic Discipline, Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
I prefer an Owner/slave style, Dominant/submissive, or Top/bottom style depending on what context I’m in. I have my slave/fiance Edward, but we have an open relationship in which I’m free to play with others. I like topping and bottoming to other people sometimes, and might at some point have another Dominant/submissive relationship with someone else, but doubt I would ever have another slave. I enjoy both the novelty of playing with new people in public and the intimacy of playing with my well-used slave in private.
As far as labels themselves go, they can be useful, but also limiting. As I’ve discussed, ‘dominant’ and ‘submissive’ can be heavily loaded terms. ‘Dominant’ is taken to mean masculine, sadistic, assertive, penetrator, while ‘submissive’ is taken to mean feminine, masochistic, meek, and penetrated. When I say that I am Dominant and my slave’s Owner I mean that I give my slave orders and he follows them. This is true whether I order him to put his chastity device on, give me a massage, fuck me, bite me, cuddle with me, kneel before me, bring me my scalpel so I can carve my name into his chest, or cane me. We use labels, but do not let them dictate our relationship.