Kink and religion (III): How do you think your early religious experiences influenced your kink?

How do you think your early religious experiences influenced your kink?


In some ways it was the questioning of what I had been taught about sexuality that led me to kink. I realised that it wasn’t wrong to fall in love with a person just because they are of the same sex, and that made me wonder what else I had been taught would turn out to be wrong. This left me a lot more open-minded about uncommon sexual practices.

Specifically…I think I do probably enjoy Domming more because of what I’ve been through. It feels like conquering previous parts of myself. For example, when I was 14 I really wanted to french-kiss my then-boyfriend. But I couldn’t bring myself to even hint that this might be what I wanted. It had to be all his idea. I feel victorious in my ability to sexually aggress.

I don’t think religion gave me any specific kinks. My past just adds a bit of a transgressive charge to my kink life.

border.png (128×30)


How do you think your early religious experiences influenced your kink?


I don’t think my religion influenced the kink.  I remember from a very early age being fascinated with different things you could do to your man bits and experimenting with that. Then I think religion may have suppressed it for a while.  Growing up in a church..well, you know. Good church-going people don’t have those kinds of thoughts… god forbid.  Christianity will turn you into a eunuch, until you get married, then sex is OK.

It took me a very long time to realize that liking sex, in all forms, is not a bad thing and if god wanted me to be a sexless creature he should have not made women so damn sexy.
As far as the kink.. I think I came out of the womb as a pain slut as evidenced by my choice of endurance sports and the suffering required to be good at them.
border.png (128×30)

How do you think your early religious experiences influenced your kink?


Since I got married young and started exploring kink within my marriage~ being into femdom at 19 didn’t cause any particular problems for me. It certainly startled my more conservative friends if I ever hinted at it in conversation.  Somehow a lot of these gals weren’t sure they were supposed to even like sex, never mind being enthusiastic about it or OMG, take charge!

I read about BDSM extensively but because I grew up listening to people telling me how I was supposed to do things and I learned how to sort what I valued from the rest of their nonsense, I felt free to pick and choose what I liked out of the kink basket as well. Tom Allen has mentioned that fundamentalists, when they be kinksters or Christians, all have the same attitude about their approach. It is true, and my experience with Christian fundamentalist prepared to handle the kinkster fundamentalists.

border.png (128×30)
How do you think your early religious experiences influenced your kink?


I think, primarily, it served as a brake on my sexual development. This would have been true even if I were sexually vanilla, though. The mixed messages – it’s bad and only bad people want/enjoy it, but it is good to share with your spouse – make it nearly impossible to have a healthy, functioning sense of sexuality. 

I think there is a possible link between the view of a loving and suffering God, as evidenced by Jesus’ sacrifice, and my understanding of love as being expressed through suffering for my partner. I remember a Sunday School lesson that discussed the various forms of torture Jesus endured on his way to the cross (not to mention actually being crucified) and the message that he suffered because of his love for each individual in the room – it wasn’t just a global thing for humanity, but a very individual thing. 

There is absolutely a link between the idea of a “good Christian” submitting their entire life to God and the complete surrender of power I have with Mistress Delila. Anything less than complete is simply a mockery. If I hold onto one tiny fraction of power; then I have not actually submitted at all. 

I think this line of thinking lays me at odds with the kink fundies who like to claim that a submissive actually “holds all the power” in a D/s relationship. And I guess I tend to deal with them the same way I’ve come to deal with religious fundies…tell them they are wrong and then ignore them. When they try to force their beliefs on me, I tend to get rather aggressive about defending myself, because I know they will not be satisfied until they own every part of me. 

My experience with religion also made me sensitive to the awesomeness of the mundane. For instance, the example of Jesus being born in a stable is often used to show how uncaring the world was/is. I see it as meaning that the incredible complexity of life in that stall shows how beautiful the world is…that the finest trappings of wealth and power simply cannot rise above the simple beauty of existence. That we exist is a thing of beauty (regardless of how one believes we got here). These incredible connections we describe as love are commonplace magic. The entire world can be found in the face of a child picking a dandelion. We are primarily spiritual beings caught for a time in a physical world…and for me, complete surrender allows me to transcend the mere physical bonds and unite with Mistress Delila on a purely spiritual level

Posted on August 15, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: