Why my submissive will never be in permanent chastity

I love sex. I love my submissive (who is also, importantly, my boyfriend). I love having sex with my submissive. He is my favourite toy, so why on earth would I lock up my favourite toy and throw away the key (or constantly taunt my sub with it)? Perhaps some females do not like sex, and thus this is a way for them to get what they want while depriving but also constantly erotisizing their submissive’s cock. But that’s not me.

I’ll come right out and admit that locking my sub’s cock up 24/7 would be almost as hard for me as it is for him. This may sound like a weakness, but is not usually considered so in men. How often do you hear of men putting their female submissives into 24/7 chastity without any release? You don’t. And do you know why? Because most men love sex and want to have sex with their subs. Frequently. I love a good fucking and don’t think that makes me any less powerful in our relationship.

However, I do have a chastity device that I will use on occasion. Currently, for example, my sub is wearing his chastity device nightly because he’s thousands of miles away and I enjoy the idea of my hand slipping around his cock each night a bit more tightly than is comfortable and whispering in his ear, “Mine”,  and his wearing the chastity device a way of expressing that. I like that it wakes him up in the middle of the night sometimes when his erection cannot fully extend. Even when he’s not with me he’s learning that it takes dedication to submit and that he’s not always going to like it.

Similarly, I do see the joy in denying orgasms. The cheated look on his face is precious. But I also enjoy giving him orgasms. Sometimes after plenty of edging, sometimes in a disappointing manner, and sometimes after he’s already given me around six. But the whole ‘we’re never going to have sex, but I’m just going to sit here with this key taunting you’ thing just wouldn’t work for me. Because realistically I would be taunting myself too, and that’s not what this is about.

Posted on January 9, 2011, in chastity, FemDom. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. The really, really extreme chastity stuff is almost always male fantasy. Fantasies of men who have never actually been in a power exchange relationship.

    I can think of a couple of dominant women who like the idea of putting a man in perpetual denial. But they aren’t in monogamous romantic relationships.

  2. I agree fully! A chastity device is a toy to play with. When accessible for the woman to install on her willing man the head games are phenomenal. Does add spice to our married life. Actually just wearing a lockable pussy slave belt around my waist that has chains surrounding my testicals/penis but no penis trap works wonders. Belt has a rear chain and a front chain securing a srotum chain in place. I told my wife I really do not want to sleep in this belt & I really have to be good for her to unlock me at evening shower time.
    My email is wdevore@yahoo.com and I invite your commments.
    Pussy slave weber

  3. My wife and I find the idea of permanent (or extremely long-term ) chastity very hot, but neither of us wants the reality. We both enjoy teh sexxing, and while a strap-on works well, it’s really just a substitute.

  4. As one who is locked up by an otherwise kind and gentle mistress – I never want to be released. My mistress has permitted me to add a few lines in response. Mam you are clearly a natural dominant and I humbly suggest that you should follow that calling when – not if – you feel the need to move your relationship further. You will – as others have done before I believe – begin to feel trapped by your current pleasing relationship and your only way forward will be to take the lead. Your natural female drive and energy will demand it of you. Remember the male is the weaker sex, the female is the stronger, both physically and mentally – E.G. the female can solve at least 5 mental problems accurately at the same time (a male can manage 2 with effort – I’m right am I not?).
    I respectfully urge you – if you are not doing so already – to study the writings of Ms Elise Sutton (on Female Domination) and Mistress Lori (Lancer) who is both a wonderful and patient teacher on the subject of male chastity and what it means and what it will do for you and your “Sub”. Mistress Lori is a very bussey persom but she will answer E-Mails of those who are willing to laern the truth.
    Lastly – no “Sub” who is locked – ever wants to be released.

    • I find your insinuation that a woman cannot fully assume her dominance until she locks up the cock of her partner insulting. His cock is not something of such power that while it is still free I cannot be the ruler of it. It, like the rest of his body, is there for my pleasure and I enjoy using it as such. Some women enjoy putting a man in chastity, and if they do, more power to them, but I do not. I sometimes enjoy using it as a short-term sex toy, but that is all.

      Furthermore, I disagree with your assertion that females are superior to males. I am not fond of sweeping generalizations that cover an entire sex. I believe that being placed on a pedestal is just as harmful as being subjugated to being a second class citizen.

  5. Dear Delvingintodeviance

    I have been given permission again by My Lady – as my dominant mistress prefers me to call her – to add some lines by way of an apology and an explanation for my earlier remarks I made here.

    I deffer to your wisdom in such matters because being a committed Female Supremacist – it would be my duty to do so as I feel that I must always put the interest of females first. Having reread my earlier remarks I now see how they could be misconstrued in spite of their well intentioned meaning and for that I am truly sorry and beg you to forgive me.

    It was not intention to place you on a pedestal but I do feel that the human female is on a higher plane than the male. I have been a reader of the works of Elise Sutton and Mistress Lori for many years and both have published works that are at first a bit hard to take especially by “normal” males.
    Although she has her critics Elise Sutton’s writing that the future belongs to the female is I believe correct. The only thing that I can see to prevent it – is what passes for female aggression is in fact passion – it is not normal for females to be aggressive and when that is realized by the male “his” aggression usually wins through unless measures are taken to prevent it. I hate males who are aggressive towards their female betters and if this is all caused by my enforced chastity I welcome it.

    I having been a “Companion” to My Lady for about eight years now, our relationship started as platonic acquaintances without any intentions of an intimate relationship. How we met is a bit convoluted but My lady had just finished an abusive relationship and was looking for a male whom she could enjoy but who would not make demand upon her – she thought that she would never find one. I by then wanted to be a slave to a kind but strong willed woman but I thought that I would never find one ether – I had thought some years before that if I were accepted into such a position that I would have to give up any ideas sexual activity both to ensure my loyalty – but more importantly – to not be a sexual treat to my dominant and accept her authority over me. I was prepared to accept castration as the price to pay and was mentally ready to go through with such a radical proposal when I read about the teachings of Mistress Lori. Mistress Lori was supplying products and spreading the word about chastity as the way to the life I was seeking. The idea that a dominant like you could achieve that level control of your “sub”without it is a credit to you and your strength of will. Both My Lady and I agree with Mistress Lori’s conviction that sexual pleasure is for the female – first and foremost – what pleasure your “sub” receives is for you to decide – not him – his pleasure should come from you. This is not the female being selfish but her right.

    After we got to know each other and our secret desires we started seeing each other at weekends at her house – I helping with chores etc as one might expect. I showed My Lady, Mistress Lori’s Webb site and she could see that Mistress Lori’s teaching would suit her desires and that I would make the person that she wanted – to be able to enjoyed as she wanted but without making demands upon her. My Lady procured a secure chastity device and had it installed upon me – it was a bit difficult to accept a first although exiting. The sexual frustration became a continual ache – not in my groin but in my head – I asked if I could release (just once) but My Lady just put her fingers flat to my lips to silence me and said in a kind but firm tone “You know that you mustn’t and you know that I must never let you. You must never ask me this again.” – and I never have and I have never wanted too.
    There comes a time in this sort of relationship when the “sub” finally accepts his mistress’s authority and I suppose that this time was mine. I never forgot it. Later still I moved in full time to look after the house and it was only then that My Lady told me that this was to be our permanent situation and that she had decided so a few weeks earlier – she also informed me that at that time – when she was inspecting my new chastity she had decided to make it permanent (glued the lock) so that even she couldn’t change her mind.

    It was only later that she introduced me to certain female friends and one in particular who was it turned out to be a lesbian – and in love with My Lady who at first saw me as a rival for My Lady’s affections. Later I was instructed by that friend in the ways of non masculine pleasuring of these females – I enjoy it very much – I don’t care if I never come – I would consider it a failure if it did. The pleasure I get from hearing their muffled moans is enough for me – I never want to stop.

    As for my obedience and and submission – it all seems quite normal to me – I want to do what ever My Lady tells me to do. It is like I cannot resist her instructing me – I crave obeying and pleasing her. My Lady has told me more than once that new female friends introduced to me think that I have been castrated because I am so submissive – as I say it all seems quite normal to me.

    I hope that I have not bored or offended you – I admire you for your strength and forthrightness.

    For my part please let the females take over the world – they can only make a better job of it than we have.

  6. I’ll come right out and admit that locking my sub’s cock up 24/7 would be almost as hard for me as it is for him.

    Thank you! I feel the same way – I find chastity play fun for a few hours, maybe a couple of days maximum, but denying myself penetrative intercourse just isn’t fun for me.

  7. I love my Pet very much – he is beautiful and delicious and wonderfully depraved! And I love his cock, too. While tormenting and denying him for a few hours is fun, I much prefer the pleasure of pushing him over the top into orgasm than the pleasure of denying him release. His release gets me hot, just as my release gets him hot.

    Not to say that chastity isn’t for some. Just not for either of us 🙂

    xx Dee

  8. TIL that there are still people who think that Elise Sutton is real, or at least, a real woman.

    but denying myself penetrative intercourse just isn’t fun for me.

    Feh. Obviously not a real domme. Everyone knows that real dommes don’t do PIV, because penetration implies submission.

  1. Pingback: Chastity Reading Material

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